I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be this. I want so much more and I’m trying so hard but it’s just not working out. And there’s this voice in my head that says I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T. I can’t stay on this job that sucks so much and makes me depressed and angry. But I have to because I need a job because I have needs and I cannot beg and I have to pay my way through school and well, put a roof over my head. so I have to. I don’t want to frigging hustle, I don’t even want to go to school anymore! What’s wrong with one degree if not that the country is such a messed up “inopportuned” place! But I have a name to protect.. I have women and children out there waiting for me to realize my full potential. So the weak voice that keeps me going says I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TO. And It sucks. And here I am being an anonymous writer on the internet which allows me to spew my annoying and lame thoughts without offending anyone which is just great. And comforting at the same time. I mean, who cares who I am. Just half a dot on the surface of the earth.

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