So I have come to this brief conclusion that I shall go straight to, Men are still the predominant specie in this world, in this black world, and even with all the feminist movement, it will take approximately about 100 years for it to change, same number of years it will take Nigerians to learn Love above Religion, Truth above Hypocrisy and Community Service above Greed.
You see, time and again I have watched, heard and seen women get blamed for their partner’s sins and even insulted for it. For example “why did you change after you married him? Why did you stop giving him blow job when he’s driving or why did you start wearing all those big boring clothes?” (Yet when they see a woman wearing shorts with a kid in her arm an Ebaeno supermarket they probably come to the quick assumption that she is a hoe or a desperate single mum). Anyway, when they are done blaming, they conclude on this note “You are the mumu na, You are the one who doesn’t know what she wants”. And then there are more horrific ones. “Why did you marry him when you knew he was a cheating bastard? Were your eyes blind? So now after 9 years you suddenly want to walk away, won’t that make u appear stupid, you’ve come so far already my dear and what of your 3 kids” or “You just have to trust him” or the most irritating one “Every man cheats. Every man has roving eyes, or at least 90 percent of men do my dear. You cannot control him. You just have to learn to close your eyes to it, at least, of all those girls he proposed to you. He asked you out. He married you”. This is the “advise” you get from your mothers, sisters, sisters-in-law, best friends, even counselors. Religious people simply ask you to pray for him when they are done.
So I decided to pick select intellectual men, I call them that because I believe no matter how annoying their responses were, I would not take it against them. They were just being men. So they all go “oh why would she bother trying to spy on him, she found what she was looking for. Men have roving eyes it cannot be helped. Oh But I love her I really do. A woman cannot try and get revenge because at the end of the day she is going to lose when she pushes the man away you know. These things happen”.
And I ask, what would you do if your girl cheats on you? The replies are usually rendered in thunderous voices.
“I won’t lie o I’ll feel bad but it can’t happen mehn”
“Is she MAD!!!?” (there will be great emphasis on the “Dddd”)
“What will be her excuse?”
“I won’t even date a slut in the first place”
“What was she lacking that I did not give her?”
“She probably did it for money”
“How can she want another man??” (They gesture towards their lower region)
“I can never touch her again, how can I go back to where another man has been!!!”
Why is a woman’s private part deemed property but a man’s own is more like community service ehn? When Adam and Eve sinned, was it only Eve that covered herself?
I have found that men never really get over being cheated on compared to women. Even after the relationship ends they just never get over it. They just can’t seem to believe she absolutely fancied another man over them. Chips their ego. Yes you man, you are probably wondering as you are reading this, what kind of girl is this Hephzibah sef?
Don’t get me wrong, I abhor cheating. I hate it. Yes like a man I may not get over it. I am soooo into transparency. I have a brave heart, I can always take it. Tell me the truth. Go through my phone, I’ll tell you all about Jack or Caleb or Seun or Kunle and I’ll definitely tell you about Chinedu. Vice versa brov! Here is me just writing a transparent view of things. Let’s put aside male or female. Let’s put aside gender equality in the black race. Let’s absolutely not mention feminism. Let’s just respect the Bible. Let’s obey the laws of nature.
“Do unto others as you would have don’t to you. Keep marriage holy and sanctified, avoid all those Willy willies and Karishikas out there! Keep your promise to your partner. Respect them, respect their feelings. Even without a ring, honor your word. For each time you say I love you, you are making a promise to honor and protect. Each time you say, be my Girlfriend or I’ll be your Girlfriend, you are asking to enter into a contract. Yes, contract. There is nothing wrong in being single. If you know you are a range rover, biko stay single! Don’t break someone else’s heart. And if two cheating bastards happen to find each other, I think you guys deserve each other and I wish you all the best!”. Pending that time I guess we really either stay with that cheating ass or leave that cheating ass. We could also change him or we could cope with him. I guess it all depends on how much he loves and respects you.