Nigerians and our habit of copying culture. It’s sickening and frightening. Very soon, I have no doubt we will have our very own Nigeria based transgender! But sex change or confusion is not why I’m bothered. This over flogged issue of marriage and wedding standard does not deter me from broaching the topic anyway.

You see, I was on my way to work one lovely morning in a vehicle with 5 other girls, colleagues, and someone started talking about the setting at her sister’s wedding and how glorious it was, bla bla bla… And 3 other girls joined in to describe in details how their own wedding reception will look like, with suspended chairs herself and her groom will sit in, rose petals scattered somewhere here and there and other ghen ghen things (it was a long ride, but I really didn’t care much about the conversation so I cannot describe it like she did). I laughed within myself and jokingly told them “why don’t you find yourself a boyfriend first before you even start planning your wedding”. She also jokingly retorted something I vaguely remember. And as they kept talking, I kind of felt weird and bad. Not once in my 20 something years have I taken a minute to envisage my wedding ceremony! I promise I don’t know if I want an open field or a hall. I don’t know what color I would even choose… Dear future husband please know about all these things or prepare for one boring wedding! I really don’t care. And I’ll be damned as an Ijebu woman if I give one wedding planner my 1 naira. Yes I said it! My mum better have game or else… and she better not do anything grand or ill sleep off at my own wedding. Wait o, is it not just to say yes I do in church and proceed to a venue to eat food and dance with selected friends?

I want marriage not wedding! This should be sort of a mantra young ladies should start saying! No I am not a sit at home wife, I didn’t get a degree, a masters, a professional certificate, learn 2 languages and have some many years of working experience to come and wash diapers and mop floors and clean all day. You have your 9-5, so will/have I. I have this grand dream to change the world but I also have a grander dream of a beautiful marriage. I didn’t have one I learnt from or look forward to, me and hubby will definitely have to draw a chart, but my children will surely grow up in an awesome home!

I want to spend the money for that wedding day to open a supermarket on Gerald’s street in Ikoyi, or buy land somewhere and keep for my first daughter. Or import cement block machine from china! Think of the possibilities my people! Why do people fail to have grand plans! To each his own they say… Roughly 60% of Nigerian girls want a bella naija wedding (no offense, they make an entertaining read that leaves me wondering if they are really happy deep down. These girls have no idea what their ideal marriage should be however. 10% want to be baby mamas (another culture we copied that I will broach another fine day). For the percentage of us who see the bigger picture, oh well, I’m not worried. But this bad habit needs to stop. Marriage is an institution by God and we need to respect it, hype it, and believe in it more than that 18 hours people will come and rejoice with you and some also put a hex on you. I will have a lovely wedding dress no doubt, and the best smile and make up ever seen, I think that is enough.. To each his own. What is your own?

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