I am a big fan of Bella naija. I read all the refreshing, and sometimes unentertaining write ups all for the love of reading. And one trend I have noticed in the comments section? The men come around and claim that there are too many problematic women around and how they bash men all the time. Someone even once claimed that Bella Naija comment section was responsible for the demise of his friend’s relationship as the girl read too many bad things that made her break up with the guy and how they used to be happy before she started visiting the site. That got me like “WOW”. Let’s not go into the lameness behind that statement today. That is for another day. Also I see write ups about how women are getting the concept of feminism wrong and using it as an excuse to be a bad wife or an arrogant girlfriend, blab la bla, and comments from men and some women also (unbelievably so) that feminism is breeding a band of warriors that are not going to find happiness. No, I won’t go into Feminism in this, I’m just going to express my profound unbelief and maybe I can finally close my mouth I’ve left open since in utmost shock.

I find it funny that it is easy for a man or a woman to pick up a pen and write about what the values of women should be. They tell us how to love our man, how to take care of him, how to cook for him, how we shouldn’t even take the easy way out to cook for him because that will make us look like we don’t love our men. I’ve seen articles on Proverbs 31, I’ve seen articles on how women will always lose when we try to get revenge in a relationship, and how we should hold on to our men and we should be faithful and loyal and honest and not cheat. Now for the single ones, they tell us how to find a man, how to position ourselves in different ways so as not to give different negative impressions, I’ve read on where to go and where not to go so as to not look like a bad or wild somebody. I mean, you all know what I’m talking about don’t you? Now I have never seen one article like that about men. Why?

As of last year, I’m not kidding you here; I thought men were not capable of deep emotions. When I hear of a girl breaking up with a guy, even when she is at fault, I really don’t feel sorry for the guy. After all, men don’t really fall in love like girls, girls are the emotional ones, we are the ones who cry when we are sad and we are the ones who meltdown and cannot control our feelings. So I have watched men control feelings from when I was a child to the point where I arrived at the conclusion that Men cannot love, men cannot miss you, men cannot cry, men cannot be heartbroken. To make it worse, I have met my fair share of irresponsible men who helped me form my opinion of Independence. So for me, men were only around to marry you so that your mother will get off your back. Till some kind friends enlightened me.

When will this trend change? When will men learn how to love their women and show it? When will men learn to cook well? Who said kitchen and household chores are genetically ingrained in women? When will our mothers learn to teach their sons how to clean and cook and care for their sisters and every female around them? When will they tell them how to hold on and keep their women? When will men learn that we also have a choice as to who we want to date? (so the other day I told a guy who kept asking “why” that I couldn’t date him because he is not as religious as I would like my man to be, he thought I was judging him and hence attacks were launched, and that wasn’t the first occasion!) When will they learn to be Davids and Samsons and Peters and Pauls before they start looking for Ruths and Esthers and Deborahs and Virgin Marys? WHEN? But then, this is just me ranting